Yesterday morning I spoke at a MOPS group. Just like every morning I woke up as one person, but slowly other parts of me started to emerge...
Alarm sounds at 6:30 am. It sounds like my son, Frederick, crying. It IS Frederick crying. Walking down the hall I start to get into character as Molly.
MOLLY the MOM (Silly hat):
(To myself) I-I read bo-oks and bake lots of homemade cookies, I hu-ug the ki-ids and drive away the spooky spookies. (Opening the door and into the room I sing out) Ri-ise and shi-ine and give God the glory, glory. Bru-ush your te-eth and I’ll read you a story, story.
Frederick looks up stunned. He was sitting up in bed reading a book and not crying at all. A quick glance at his damp pajamas and I know that Courtney is on deck and has to pull of a quick play.
COURTNEY the QUARTERBACK (Nerf football in hand)
The bathroom run, the bathroom run! One, two, three, HUT! Get out of bed, down the hall, open the toilet, good aim, flush, wash hands and FIRST DOWN!
My daughter, Shirin, calls out that she does not have any clean socks. Wendy shows up.
WENDY the WORKER (Hard hat):
(Under breath) All I do is work, work, work all day. (Turning to my daughter) There’s some clean socks in the dryer. I need you to get them so I can get dressed, gather up my props for my MOPS talk, make your breakfast and your lunch before it’s time to get in the car.
I walk back into my room to get dressed. Half way through I see my husband from the bed starting to wake up. Linda’s first cue of the day. It takes a prep talk to get into character.
LINDA the LOVE SLAVE (scarf)
(Whispering to myself) I lounge around in my lingerie and lavish love words on my husband and say things like, ‘Lover, did you Lock the door?’ (Sexy growl. Clearing my throat, I get my “sexy” in gear) Good morning sweetheart, did you sleep well? (growl)
The growl did not come off as sexy as I had hoped, but it will do. Onto the kitchen to make breakfast and pack lunches. As I start to wash my hands I take a moment to hold the retractable faucet up as if it were a microphone.
PRICILLA the PRINCESS (Crown)
Today, I wish for house hold peace, to feel pretty, lock myself in the bathroom, take bubble baths and do my nails.
My hands are clean and I get into character for packing lunches.
SARAH the SERVER (Apron)
“Serving the family, serving the family. I give my time to serving others. You can’t name a church committee that I haven’t been on. I’ve helped 10 people move, built 15 houses in Mexico, fed over 1000 homeless and delivered 4 meals, all last week.
As I think about serving I also think about all the driving around I’ve done.
CHARLOTTE the CHAUFFEUR (Driver hat)
“I drove 4000 miles last week and permanently smell like French fries.”
HELGA the HOUSEKEEPER (Chef hat)
“French fries, no wonder they won’t eat my cooking, they’re always eating French fries.”
ARLENE the ACCOUNTANT (Tie)
“I’m in charge of the cash flow and French Fries are not worth the investment! I always order the healthy alternative at McDonalds. He’s the one that orders the fries.
SUZANNE the PSYCHOLOGIST: (Glasses on the tip of my nose)
“Now why do you think he orders the fires? What was his relationship like with his mother?”
In the middle of my momentary schizophrenia and right on cue “he” comes in the kitchen. Unaware of the therapy session I’m in and oblivious to the fact that Suzanne is staring him down, he opens the freezer. He looks inside for some meat to defrost for dinner and asks me what I feel like having tonight. Linda’s cue, no time to get into character, I’ll have to swing it.
Oh I could peel some grapes and rub your feet.
Seeing his smile I move in with a little bit of flirting and maybe some touching. Suddenly my iPhone sounds it’s alarm telling me it’s time to get in the car. I give an apologetic nod as I change up characters. From here on out my character props just pile up, one on top of the other...
MOLLY: All right kids, time to get in the car-y car-y
CHARLOTTE: I’ll get the car.
WENDY: Let’s go, we’re late!
HELGA: I’ll get the lunches, w/o French fries!
LINDA: And without grapes, those are for later. (pathetic growl)
ARLENE: Thank God those grapes were on sale at the market yesterday!
SUZANNE: Did his mother feed him grapes?
1, 2, 3, HUT! Frederick go long for your lunches... Oh no, he’s covered by his sister Shirin who intercepts it. Frederick grab the back packs! Kids, in the car. I’ll grab MOPS props, purse, keys and I’m driving down the field… 50, 40, drop off kids to school with Molly hugs…. 30, 20, check my iPhone map to make sure I know where I’m going, 10, cop! (throw phone) hands free! I’m at the 5 and into the church parking lot to speak at a MOPS group and TOUCHDOWN!
PRICILLA: Oh, I chipped a nail!
Taking a moment to reflect before I step up on the stage. I can’t help but Praise God and Thank Him for the many parts of me.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."