The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 4: Insurance Policy is Assurance Policy

The never ending Chronicles of the Ring, Lesson 4: Insurance Policy is Assurance Policy

After finding my diamond that fell off of my wedding ring I took it to the jewelers to get it fixed.  I had let 3 very important lessons sink in.  Trusting in God’s promises, even in the turbulence.  Making sure connecting moments with my husband and kids are contagious.  And living a joy filled life where smiles are not strangers.  All this because of a lost diamond.  I guess if you let Him, God will not waste a single thing.  He will allow things to happen just to draw us closer to him in relationship.  On my way to pick up my ring I wondered if  He could squeeze any more lessons out of this whole ordeal.

At the jewelry store I slipped the ring back on my finger.  It looked beautiful, like the day I first saw it.  The void was filled!  I asked the jeweler how much it would have been to replace the diamond if I had not found it.  Thousands of dollars he said.  And then I asked how I could be sure this would not happen again?  He told me to get the prongs checked regularly.  At lease twice a year.  There was a crack in the base that could have been found and fixed months ago.  He also talked about purchasing an insurance policy.  You pay up front and if it is ever lost or stolen the value is protected with the policy.  

The ring was all fixed and back on my finger.  I wanted to protect it.  “Check the prongs regularly,” he said,  “And get an insurance policy to protect the value.”  Six months later I found myself saying, “I should get this prong checked... I’ll stop by the jewelers next week.”  Next week never came.  It’s been a year now.   Still have not checked the prongs.  Still no insurance policy.

If my life is any reflection of how lazy I can be with checking my prongs, then I am a real waist of God’s time on this here earth.  But I can say that the lessons I took in last year did sink in.  And has had an amazing impact on my life attitude.  Resulting in better moments and better relationships.

As long as I walk this earth I am a work in progress, not a finished product.  There is always another lesson to learn.  Checking prongs every 6 months is what the jeweler suggested.  I never really feel like going to get the prongs checked.  My ring looks fine and feels fine.  I know I should and said I would.   A check up with the jeweler would have saved me the heartache of loosing it in the first place.  The only way to make it a habit is to do it regularly.  It was not suggested to me for my pain, discomfort or to annoy me.  It was actually for my good and to save me from the consequences of a diamond falling off it’s ring.  He is the expert.  Check in with the expert.

Awe, another lesson!  The jeweler knows diamonds and his instructions are what is best.  There is a Jeweler of our life that I need to be in check with... He knows what is best.  He is an expert in life.  He blesses me with all kinds of diamonds and instructs me on how to care for them.  But I don’t always feel like following those instructions.  And I’m not alone in this, am I?  God’s ways are not always our ways, are they?  We all seem to know so much better and flow with our own ways so much easier.  But in reality, we do not know better or bigger than God.  He sees the past, present and future.  He knows what is best for us; what is for our ultimate good.  He did not give us guidelines on how to live and commandments to obey for our pain, discomfort or to annoy us.  Although sometimes our limited minds perceive it that way.  He has our best in mind when he gave us the blue print on how to be saved from the consequences of our fallen condition.  Check our life-prongs with the expert life-jeweler whether we feel like doing it or not!  That is the only way we know for sure if we have a strong and stable connection.   Being consistent with checking in reveals any cracks in the bace that needs attention before disaster strikes, it keeps our connection with God in working order.

And what about that insurance policy?  Insurance for assurance.  How can I be assured that I have the wisdom to live out these lessons to the best of my ability?  That I am available to my husband and my kids?  I can run out of steam on my own.  I need to be connected in my relationship with the expert in Life!  His strength, his encouragement and his wisdom gives me what I need to keep running this life race.  He says to pray continually because he wants to be that constant source of energy for our life.  It’s for our good.  He calls his Word our daily bread because he knows that our souls, like our tummies, get hungry every single day.  Its not to annoy us.  He wants our attention because he knows how easily we are distracted or, in my case, lazy.  Only then do we understand what it means when we hear that nothing in this world can take the place of a true relationship with Christ Jesus.  A void completely filled.  A wholeness that has no gaps.  A relationship that fulfills every need.  No need to search elsewhere.  Insurance for my life means being connected to my Father in heaven and following his ways.  Assurance  for my life is knowing that if something were to go wrong, the value is protected.  If I must walk through fire, I will not be scorched.  I don’t have to fork out the full cost of replacement because I have a relationship to fall back on.  In practical terms… daily prayers and devotionals.  Philippians 2: 1-4 explains the practical pay-it-forward benefits.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” 

The insurance for my family is the assurance that I am available to speak living words into their life after regular visits to my Jeweler to have my prongs checked.  You see, how can I be an encouragement to them if I have not been encouraged myself?  And I know that comes from being united with Christ.

There have been changes in our home.  Trusting during turbulence.  Connecting has been contagious.  Smiles are not strangers.  But the biggest change is my devotion to checking in with the Expert.  Getting my part right with Him so that He can make it all right in my home.

The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 3: Finding JOY

The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 3: Finding JOY

When the diamond on my ring fell off in February of 2010 I was devastated.  When I found it, days later, I was overjoyed!  And I do mean OVERjoyed!  As in elated, ecstatic, thrilled!  I really cannot give you the words that would 100% represent how delighted I was to find my most special wedding jewel.  I completely forgot that just one moment earlier I was a bit grumpy and quietly grumbling about making breakfast.  I couldn’t even touch the ring, I just started screaming!  From all corners of the house my family came running into the kitchen.  I mean they knew by the sound in my voice that something had just happened.  There was no mistake that I was over the moon.  I pointed to the diamond sitting next to an egg-making frying pan in the cupboard.  As I did I could see their faces just staring at me.  I’m sure I was shining brighter than the sun at that moment.  And although the diamond did not mean much to my kids, they could not help but share in the contagious joy along with me.  My husband Farhad swept it up with a huge smile.  My kids started cheering with me and danced around a bit.  

After the thrill died down, Farhad and the kids went back to what they were doing.  But I was still glowing on the inside as I pulled out a frying pan to make some eggs for breakfast.  What a gift to be able to feel the excitement of finding something so very important to me.  It made me ask myself,  “How often do I get that feeling over the treasure of my family?  How often does my family get to see a smile on my face that can’t be extinguished?”  I could not have created that feeling of true sadness and disappointment when I lost the diamond.  I could not have created the pure joy when it was found.  Those were circumstances out of my control.  But if I had never found the ring, would it have been right for me to walk around for the rest of my days with a face that is down cast?  Why should I wait for a good circumstance to live with a joy attitude and give that gift to my family more often?  I mean it was more than evident that it had a wonderful impact on all of them.

As I made breakfast that morning I couldn’t help but let my mind wander off to another time in my life.  After giving birth to my son in the summer of 2004, I lost the use of my legs completely.  My pelvic had split open in the delivery room.  I came home in a wheelchair with a newborn son, an 18 month old daughter and a husband in just as much shock as I was.  It took several months of rehabilitation to regain control and a year and a half to be able to walk at a “normal” pace.  Throughout that season I remembered a lesson that a dear lady, Carolyn, had taught me.  She said that when her husband passed away she never denied the pain but she did put up notes around the house that said, “Choose Joy.”  “Choose Joy because it is a choice,” she had said.  In those months of pain and therapy I chose Joy again and again.  I strongly believe that because of that choice our family unit became closer and stronger.  We had more moments of connecting than if I had not made that choice day after day.  My daughter, Shirin, enjoyed daily rides around the house on my lap in the wheelchair.   My son, Frederick, had my undivided attention because I was forced to stop ALL of my busy activities and all of my running around.  My husband, Farhad, will tell everyone that we became a TEAM during that time.  It was a hard time, but I got to experience true Joy of a new perspective.  Joy in the little accomplishments.  Joy in the gifts and support from others.  Joy feelings that came after joy actions.  Joy because I chose it.

At that time I did not learn about being fake, hiding struggles and pretending everything was fine.  Choosing joy was not about choosing to be fake.  I had my tear filled moments and my bouts with pain.  What I learned about was what it meant when God tells us to be joyful in all circumstances.  Having an honest life attitude that spills out from a heart filled with hope and joy.  Something that we really cannot manufacture all on our own.  As much as it is a choice, we must know where the source real joy comes from.  “The Joy of the Lord is our Strength.”  OK, but what does that mean?  As God fills us up (His Joy on us, His delight in us, His encouragement to us, His comfort upon us) we have the strength to choose joy, live satisfied lives and be content in all circumstances.  It’s about not missing opportunities to grow up in our faith and enjoy life in the present.  And that is the best gift I could ever offer my family, a joy-filled wife and mom spilling out onto them.  If the Joy of the Lord is my strength, then the joy of this here mom can be my child’s strength.  Change my face and watch it change theirs!

I finished making my eggs that morning with, yet again, a renewed perspective.  I still did not really feel like making that breakfast.  But being a bit grumpy and quietly grumbling about it was a heart condition I chose not to favor!  I remember saying a prayer, “Oh Lord, help me be Joyful always and not just when things are going my way!  That is not what I want to spill out on my family.”  Choosing Joy once again I was OVERjoyed to be making eggs for my family.  And I served them with an honest smile on my face.

A Bat's Perspective

A message from Flying Bat to my son's kindergarten class, after his two night stay at our house...

Dear Team Forman,  

My visit with Fosi was absolutely fantastic... we did it all... from A to Z...

A windy wacky Wednesday (enormous winds, no exaggeration!)

Belonged to Fosi and me.  It was excellent!  First,

Cozy in his home, I watched Matthew and Fosi have a play date.

Dear me!  Next, Fosi had a doctor’s appointment.

Eek!  He was apprehensive to go, it was quite a predicament.

For the whole time I stayed right by his side. I helped him persevere.

GET OUT!  We met a boy in the waiting room who knew me (Zack Diamond).

Hurray!  Dr. Cosmer was ecstatic to see me too, his grown daughter was 

In Mrs. Forman’s class 13 years ago!  What a coincidence!

Just then, Fosi got a coin for the toy machine.  Then we went back to his home.

Keeping  me safe was Fosi’s number one goal.

Long and hard, with a plethora of activities, we played all afternoon.

Making music with his drums, checking out his flip notes on his DSi,

Nibbling on a snack together, watching the DVD “Mater’s Tall Tales” and

One game after another.  It was exhilarating!  Oh, and his 

Pretty sister, Shirin, joined the fun.  Shirin gave me lots of hugs.

Quietly, Shirin and Fosi’s mom hid when Fosi’s dad came home from work.

Really it was a game!  Fosi and I helped his dad find those two stinkers.

Some dinner for our tummies (I ate fruit, Fosi ate lasagna) and then it was off to bed.

Together Fosi and I slept and had glorious dreams.

Until Fosi got home from school on Thursday, I had to fly away from his dog Yoshi.

Very much like Wednesday, Fosi and I talked and played all Thursday afternoon.

Would you believe that Fosi played the piano for me?  I even got to try.

X-tra help from a bat (that’s me) and Fosi finished his homework for the week.

You know, Fosi is a really exceptional guy... 

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my oh my, what a wonderful stay!

Love, The Flying Bat

The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 2: GRACEful new beginnings

The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 2:   GRACEful new beginnings

“Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?”

Scanning the ground back to my soccer-mom van I was imagining my husband Farhad holding the ring in a case as he asked me to marry him 14 years prior. 14 years to the month!  Just the right diamond on a one-of-a-kind handmade ring.  Yikes!  The ring, diamond and all, also represented the vows of a sacred bond that were made on our wedding day. Double Yikes!  Purchasing a new diamond would cost a pretty penny.  Yikes Yikes Yikes!  And it was gone!

“Come on, where is it?” Retracing my steps from the class to the van I must have looked like a mad lady.  The ring was so sparkly the first time I laid eyes on it. A battery operated light in the case made the ring glimmer in the moonlight night.  What could be more beautiful and more perfect?  As he slid it onto my finger I knew I would clean it often, never would this diamond be dull.  Throughout the years it had twinkled on my finger, the glimmer had to be replenished now and then with a good cleaning.  Come to think of it, it had not been cleaned in a while and I wondered if that would make it harder to find.  A dull diamond might just blend into its surroundings!  No one would notice the treasure it was and even I could easily overlook it!

A feeling of hopelessness swept over my body in an instant.  If only I had cleaned it as often as I did when I first received it.  If only, if only, if only!  How did I get so lazy with something of so much value?

After sweeping the ground again and again with my eyes, I reluctantly got into the car.  I needed to search the car and my house and so many other places.  Looking down at the ring it just looked wrong.  A jewel, gone.  A priceless treasure, vanished.

It is so easy to stop taking care of what is most important to us.  The disappearing diamonds seemed like a warning.  What other treasures in my life are dull and in danger or falling by the wayside?  In life all sorts of challenges and struggles come our way.  It is inevitable.  In the midst, am I remembering to tend to the treasure God has given me in my family?  Am I cleaning it regularly?  Does my family know what a jewel they are to me?  Am I being a jewel to them? Something of so much value should not be left to dull out.  When the night comes, the diamond is that much harder to find if it can’t reflect light.  

“I need to clean this diamond... I’ll do it later.”  How many times did I say that?  And the moments just slipped away.  It’s in the moment, isn’t it?

“Mom, will you play cars with me?” A common question from my son.  How long does it really take to sit down and play cars?  5 minutes goes a long ways.  Why does 20 minutes answering emails can feel like a blink.  Where is my treasure?  It’s in the moment. 

“Mom, can I help with dinner?”  Being a chef is on my daughter’s top-10 list of occupations.  It takes longer when she helps.  It’s my choice: Do it myself because every minute counts... or invest an additional 5 extra minutes for my treasure?  It’s in the moment.

“I have a deadline, could you pick up my clothes at the dry cleaners before they close?”  A simple request from my husband that I can certainly do and a 5 minute drive to avoid putting a wedge between glimmering treasure and dullness.  Be his helpmate (“Sure can”) or his heartache (“It’s out of my way but if you really can’t get here... how late are you planning on staying there anyways?”).  It’s in the moment.

Should it surprise me when teens say they have nothing in common with their parents and couples say they have grown apart after years of lost moments?  Lost time may never be found.  But thank goodness we are not out of time today!  It’s never too late to be a vessel of change in my home!  Today is a new day with plenty of time for a new life attitude. Philippians 2:14-16 tells me how to respond to my family:

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”

The treasure of strong family connections can be found and cleaned up to shine in the sunlight and glimmer in the moonlight.  It’s in the moment.

So what about this ring!  I failed on my part and felt quite hopeless to find the jewel that should sit on top of my ring.  Whatever I think is lost and gone can be restored?  True, oh so true for my family.  It can be found.  But my disappearing diamond?  It just served as a good warning.  And yet, God is a God of restoration and healing... should he stop short?  I was put to the test one Sunday morning.

“Honey, could you make some breakfast for the kids?”  My husband usually makes breakfast on the weekends.  But this Sunday morning he asked me to.  Don’t grumble!  Remember the lesson your working on ever since your diamond suddenly disappeared.   I sure felt like grumbling.  Helpmate or heartache?  I walked to the kitchen telling myself to choose a good attitude.  I can handle cereal and microwaved eggs.  It’s in the moment.

“Mom, can you please make the eggs the way I like?”  She was asking me not to microwave them for 40 seconds but to use a frying pan.  Ugh!  Oops, was that a silent grumble I heard?  Take the extra 5 minutes to fry up eggs Michelle!  I went to get an egg-making frying pan.  It’s in the moment.

And yet my attitude still struggled with a grumble or two.... 

“The frying pan is on the bottom shelf, I have to get down on my knees to get it and  I have a bad back.”  I thought. “Geez, I really need to clean down here, what is that there?  Dirt?  If only we had better cupboards it wouldn’t take me 5 minutes to clean them out.” 

Pausing for a second, “Wait a minute.  I’m grumbling.  It’s a lost moment if I keep this up!  I’m making breakfast for my treasure of a family for goodness sakes!  I’m sorry Lord, change me from the inside out.”

That’s when my perspective made a shift.  Literally.  I looked closer at the “dirty” cupboard.  That dull piece of dirt is shaped sort of like...  a prong holding a dull diamond!  What?!?!?!?!  I found the diamond when I was not even looking for it!  He is a God of restoration and healing!  A God that helps us see things in a new way.  And finding this diamond was... in the moment!  The  moment of a shift from feeding a grumble to feeding a treasure. When what is lost becomes found, I will rejoice!  It needed a good cleaning and a good fixing but I knew it for the treasure it was.

Just the right diamond-of-a-family in a one-of-a-kind God-made home.  Each moment choosing to reflect the light of sacred bonds.  A priceless jewel found, cleaned and restored!

“And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.  In the same way… there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.””

Luke 15:9 & 10

I Delight in You

Shirin's 8th birthday: February 7, 2011

I Delight in You

You walk in with a goofy grin

You sing, dance and you spin

In every word you speak

At every mountain peak

I delight in you

Fueled by giggles and praise

You embrace every phase

When you love on your peeps

And your spirit just leaps

I delight in you

Adventure you just crave

Leading others to be brave

Trying every new food

Staying honest and not rude

I delight in you

Learning new things excites

Falling short sort of bites

On those oh so hard days

When nothing goes your own way

I delight in you

From behind your own ear

A yodeling pickle does appear

When we laugh till it hurts

And you make yourself burp

I delight in you

God hand picked a sweetie

And made you so pretty

Placing favor on your name

Teaching humility in fame

I delight in you

Always and forever with a seal

I love you from head to heal

Daughter of mine

Who loves to rhyme

I delight in you

For Shirin

By Michelle Fozounmayeh

10-13-09

The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 1: HOPE in the Promise

The Never Ending Chronicles of The Ring, Lesson 1: HOPE in the Promise

Imagine looking down at your wedding ring and the largest diamond was missing!  That is just what happened in February of 2010 as I was dropping my son Frederick off at school.  I looked down and it was gone, prong and all.  My heart skipped a beat!  I had to look away and then back again to make sure I was actually witnessing that giant void!  I certainly was.  Where could it be?  Shock set in.  

When I got home I went straight to my room thinking maybe it came off while I was sleeping.  Stripping the bed I realized how impossible this task seemed to be.  With all the millions of places it could have fallen, to spot that little guy in all the space of our world just seemed impossible.  It would be like finding a needle in a haystack.  A diamond in the rough.

I sat down on my bed. “God, how on earth am I going to find this?  You know where it is, you can see it right now.  But to me it seems impossible for it to just ‘show up’”.  And as the words were still on my lips I looked down and saw a little something on the ground.  

A flicker of hope stirred my heart.  I picked it up...  

It was a little fake diamond that looked like it was from one of my daughter Shirin’s costume jewelry rings.  Big sigh! A wanna-be diamond with no value at all.  How ironic. “You do have a since of humor, Lord.”  I placed it in the palm of my hand and spoke as if it had ears, “I’ve never seen you before.”  And to think, it could have been vacuumed, thrown away or in a corner somewhere but instead it was right there in plain view for me to discover.  

At that moment I sensed God speaking to my heart, "Nothing is impossible with me.  If this tiny counterfeit can be found then it is possible for your true diamond to be uncovered... and it will."

“I’ll take that as a promise.” I said out loud.  “I won’t give up hope.  I’ll keep searching.”

At that point I was on a quest!  Not a frantic one, but a diligent one!  A pursuit in finding what God says is findable.  But after exhausting all possible hide outs I found myself shifting back to my daily responsibilities, like the hunt was off.  I’ll probably just stumble upon it one day, hopefully before it is replaced.

Hope has a way of fading doesn’t it?  I mean I can anticipate, trust, expect and even wish for something unseen like a lost diamond, a certain job or a restored relationship.  I can be optimistic, dream, desire and even plan for when the time might arrive... as soon as I find that ring… when I write that book… as soon as I am sanctified.  But hope dwindles fast when the dreadful combination of time and human impossibility comes together.  I am a woman of faith that received a promise, right?  And yet my time, devotion and focus can wander off.  And it’s not just with the ring, there are so many areas in my life where I will settle for the counterfeit identities and forget the promise of royalty that comes with being a child of the most high king.  My lack of patience in seeing a promise fulfilled holds my faith captive again and again.  My expectation of a diamond revealed turned into a not so optimistic plan to replace.  A lesson in faith verses a lesson to have my prong checked more often.  To my shame I started to favor the latter.

So I was just becoming OK with replacing my diamond when my wandering off and God’s timing along with his way of making the impossible possible met face to face.  On a Sunday morning I reached into my cupboard for a small egg-making frying pan.  Can you guess?  Right next to the bottom stacked pan, with the prongs still on it, was my wedding ring diamond!  I couldn’t believe it.  It laid there while I screamed with excitement!  Without hesitation I remembered the promise shouting, “YES!  Thank you thank you thank you Lord!”

All doubt, all despair that had crept in vanished.  It was the same sensation you get when a good magician makes something disappear on stage.  Poof!  Oh man!  Even with a promise I had slipped into trusting more in the seen and less on what is unseen.  I was yet again humbled at how fast I could question what should be certain.  Reality check Michelle!  When the future is unseen and unknown I can doubt, fear and even plan for the worse.  But I have a choice to resist that urge, to trust in the Lord with all my heart in all parts of my life and to lean not on my own limited understanding.  I have a choice to live with HOPE.  I was told once to never be afraid of an unknown future to a known God.

“I’ll take that as a promise” Abraham said when he was promised the blessing to produce a Redeemer, a Messiah that would ultimately bless all nations on the earth.  How many thousands of generations passed until Jesus walked the earth?  The Israelites had to be reminded again and again.  God’s promises are real.  Maybe that wanna-be diamond held no value, but the promise that came with it did.  Do I trust all of God’s promises or just some?  Do I grow weary in the promises that are long-coming?  Do I live in a way, everyday, that mirrors my trust in God’s ways?  God has not given up, why should I?

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:18