Ms. Marry McMoo

Ms. Marry McMoo

Did you hear of Ms. Marry McMoo
Who stood with her legs tied with glue
Oh if you only heard what they did do
With poor Ms. Marry McMoo

Every morning she started to sound
A moo that carried through out town
Is it a cow?  Some would frown
But the mooer was Marry all bound

A few who knew of her all stuck
Thought it was her own bad luck
Others just assumed the ruck
Was just an annoying young puck

How did she get stuck that way
I mean really, did she have a say
Back then she just leaned against hay
Day after day after day after day

Bitter Bob Boo didn't care the why
The moo was making him die
He started the chatter and lies
That grew malice and selfish cries

One night at a quarter past nine
The village had enough of her kind
They set out with rope and sticks to bind
At last arrived and questioned their find

Ms. Marry McMoo smiled a bit
Legs all twisted and in a fit
She offered them to take a sit
"It's nice to see you," She had to admit

Still holding onto the blame
Bitter Bob spoke why they came
But the tears humbled and tamed
And ultimately brought him to shame

They sat and she stood
Doing the best that she could
She spoke like she should
Asking for help if they would

"I tried to call for you all right
When my legs got tangled one night
A few just fled at the sight
So I decided to put up a fight

"With all my might I've said my name
Until last night my yell did change
I can't do this with my own range
So to the Lord I made my claim

"And to my delight and wonder
Here you are with quite a number
With tools and all kinds of lumber
To pick me up out of this slumber"

Ropes in hand and sticks at feet
Bitter Bob cleared his voice to speak
"Here she wants to be free"
Smiled, and bent down on one knee

It took all night and the next day
Pulling and pushing every which way
Binding together to loosen the lay
Some even stood by her to pray

At last Ms. Marry McMoo
Wiggled out one foot then two
Her legs feeling all brand new
She danced all around the crew

To this day there was never a sound
Then the people's cheer from that ol' town
They say that Mrs. Marry Boo never found
A less bitter and more sweet Bobby around

-Michelle Fozounmayeh
9-14-10

I thought this was a good one for the new year as we reflect on a year gone past.  As we strive to let go of the things that keep us bound and look forward to new beginnings.  Never be afraid of an unknown future to a known God!

Advent at Home

Not everyone knows what Advent is.  I have been a Christian since the day I asked Jesus to come into my heart at the age of 7 and did not know about this word "Advent" and traditions tied to it until I was an adult.  I love traditions that give purpose to Holidays.  Advent in Latin means “The Coming”.  In short, Advent is the time period leading up to Christmas.  Counting down the days!  My kids use an advent calender where we velcro a new character/animal/object each day to a scene that slowly unveils the nativity.  I love it!  Another tradition is the Advent wreath.  When I started to attend a church that used this tradition to prepare our hearts for Christmas I fell in love.  A visual with meaning.  Not all churches use this tradition but many still do.  The advent wreath has 5 candles that are lit one by one in church services all over the world on the 4 Sundays that lead up to Christmas.  The last Candle is lit in a Christmas eve service.  So why light candles? The lighting of these candles help remind us of the promise that a Light would come to the World.  This promise is all over the Old Testament of The Bible. “The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined” (Isaiah 9.2)  With each Sunday the candles bring us closer to the time when we recall Jesus' birth and the fulfillment of this promise.  But that is not the only coming we are to look forward to.  The candle lighting reminds us to look forward to Jesus' Second Coming as well.  We seek to be wise and have our lamps ready for the Bridegroom who is coming again.  He said it would happen!  Remember Jesus’ parable in Matthew 25.1-13, the Parable of the Ten Virgins?  As Jesus said: “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming” (25:13).  

You can worship in this way whether you go to a church that follows this tradition or not;  recalling His first coming and looking forward to His Second Coming.  You can do it right there in your own home.  Light candles each week leading up to Christmas or do it all at once.  That's what we are doing this year, lighting them all at once.  On Christmas day my brother and sisters' families are coming over.  I LOVE hosting because this means I am in charge of how the Christmas story is presented.  Along with a cute play that the kids will put on, we are going to light the Advent Candles! 

The Prophecy Candle (Dawn)
The Prophecy Candle signifies Hope and tells us of the Prophets who expected and predicted the coming of the Messiah who would bring peace, love and salvation to the world. It also reminds us that he will come again in glory.   Jesus said, "I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of light."  
Song:   
Jesus, Name above All Names

                                
The Bethlehem Candle (Viramonte Family)
The Bethlehem candle represents Peace and reminds us that Christ was born as a human baby at a precise time and place in history. He is also eternal God. 
Jesus said, I am the Light of the World.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life."
Song:
Silent Night

The Shepherd's Candle (Jordan Family)
The Shepherds Candle represents Joy and celebration.  Just as the shepherds shared the joy of Christ's birth, we can share with others the joy of His presence in our lives.  Jesus said, I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life."
Song:
Go Tell It on the Mountain

The Angels Candle (Fozounmayeh Family)
The Angels Candle represents Love.  The angels were messengers proclaiming Christ's birth to the shepherds; we are God's messengers proclaiming Christ's Love for our world.  Jesus said, "I am the Light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life."
Song:
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

The Christ Candle (Kretz Family)
The Christ Candle declares to us that God sent Christ into our world.  He is Jesus Christ, God's Son, our Savior.   Now all the candles are lit.  Christ is born! Let us rejoice!
Song:
Joy to the World

And there you go... Advent at Home!  Traditions that give Holidays great purpose.

Time to be Free

A song I wrote:  The inspiration for writing this song came from one person I know.  But the truth in it is for all of us...
"Time to be Free"

(Verse 1)

It was a Friday night

She was held tight

The pain began to fade

Lost in imagination

Forgetting rejection

Until the very next day

A note was left

Three words at best

She gave a familiar nod

Just like before

Felt like a whore

He left with “thanks a lot”

(Chorus)

Time to be free from the same old trap

She looked in the mirror, it all came back

“I care about the way you turn out”

Moving her lips, tears on her mouth

“Why should your worth be less then it can

On false attention- on a one night stand”

(Verse 2)

A knock at the door

Got her off the floor

Her mom stood in agony

About a man

Didn’t understand

The same old sympathy

Taken by the sight

She sensed the true fight

To break the pattern made

God did not intend

On the very same end

That day her future changed

(Chorus)

Time to be free from the same old trap

She looked in the mirror, it all came back

“I care about the way you turn out”

Moving her lips, tears on her mouth

“Why should your worth be less then it can

On false attention- on a one night stand”

(Bridge)

So she fell on her knees

N’said “Jesus take all of me,

Break this chain!

I won’t go back again.”

(Chorus)

Time to be free from the same old trap

She looked in the mirror, it all came back

“I care about the way you turn out”

Moving her lips, tears on her mouth

“Why should your worth be less then it can

On false attention- on a one night stand”

(Ending)

Steps in a new direction

A new road, new view of affection

“Lord it starts today.

Take my hand, show me the way.

You know what I need

I need you, time to be free.”

James 2:10 says “For whoever should keep the whole law and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.”  Sin is a one night stand.  It does not yield one ounce of righteousness.  We can't be perfect on our own, no matter how hard we try.  We all need Jesus to be free!

The Battle of the Food Face

“But solid food is for the mature…”

SHIRIN:

Shirin sat across from her little brother Frederick at the dinning room table waiting for her lunch.  Watching her mom get it ready she tried to imagine what it might look like today.  Arranged in a shape?  Maybe a star or a sun!  “Maybe de food will be a car Frederick!” Shirin knew that her little one and a half year old brother loved her Little People cars.  His first birthday was the theme “anything with wheels.”

Clueless, Frederick started his latest little chant.  “Ba, ba, baaaaaaaa.  Ba, ba, baaaaaaaa.  Ba, ba, baaaaaa.”  Repeating it over and over again.  Shirin joined in and she could see his face light up and continue with even more conviction.

“Ba, ba, baaaaaaaa.!  Ba, ba, baaaaaaaa!  Ba, ba, baaaaaa!”  Bringing the lunch plates over Shirin’s mom joined the fun.  “Ba, ba, baaaaaaaa!  Ba, ba, baaaaaaaa!  Ba, ba, baaaaaa!”  All together and right in beat they got louder and louder until Shirin’s mom set the plates down in front of them.

“A face!”  Shirin screeched.  Cottage cheese as hair, olives for eyes, a cheerio nose with one lunch meat shaped as a smiling mouth!

Shirin’s mom handed her a fork.  “You are 3 Shirin, you have to use this to eat your cottage cheese!”  The excitement from just a moment before dwindled as Shirin contemplated having to use a fork!  There is nothing better then letting her mushy food squish between her fingers, scooping it up into her mouth and feeling it all over her face.  It was exhilarating.

After giving her fork a solid stare down, she looked over at her brother who had already gobbled up 3 bites with his car spoon.  How could he have better coordination then she could ever muster up? Shirin studied his perfect technique.  Such control!  When a dot of cottage cheese got on his finger he quickly lifted his hand for her mom to wipe it off. “Augh, augh!”  Acting as if his finger was scarred for life, he was not able to continue eating until it was clean.  His anguish puzzled her.  Looking again at her own food face, its lunch meat lips seemed to talk to her... eat me!  Shirin decided to stall.  After all, she could use her hands with everything else.  So there! She thought with a final glare at the fork.

“Mom, I ate his eyes… look, he can’t see!  Now no nose.  Bye bye mouth!  He can’t say bye! ‘Mmmmm Mmmmm.’  Look mom, no mouth.  Bye bye hair!”

“That’s nice honey” Shirin’s mom said from over her shoulder as she cleaned up the counters in the kitchen.  Caught up in disassembling her food face she completely forgot about the fork.  Scooping up the cottage cheese Shirin let it settle in all the curves of her hands.  A tight fist let the cottage cheese seep out of any little crevice.

“The hair is falling!”  After the death squeeze Shirin licked up what was left in the palm of her hand.  Leaning down like a puppy, she sucked more right off her plate.  Cottage Cheese finger painting was added to her slurping as her clean, untouched fork lay next to her plate.

“Shirin!”  Her mom said sharply.  Shirin jerked her head up making cottage cheese fly everywhere.  “What are you doing?  I told you to use your fork!”  Oh no, she had forgotten about the fork.  Her mom hurried to her with a wet cloth wiping up cottage cheese from all over the table, Shirin’s face, nose and even chunks in her hair.  “Oh man Shirin, you are a mess!  You’re getting too big for this!”  Her mom was clearly agitated; her regularly gentle hands wiped Shirin’s face with an unusual intensity.  After she was all clean Shirin’s mom looked directly into her eyes, handed her the fork and calmly said, “Eat what is left on your plate with this.”

Shirin gazed, as if it were the most foreign object ever placed in her hands. She remembered trying to use this fork so many times before.  Most recently at her sweetheart birthday party last week.  Her Grandma Gwen had baked heart shaped mini cakes for the kids to decorate.  Shirin’s master piece had frosting, sprinkles and heart shaped candy on top.  The pink fork seemed flawed so using her hands to digest her marvelous work of art was inevitable.

Why did her mom insist on training her in this method of eating? She tried to scoop up the cottage cheese but it fell right off the fork.  Out of frustration Shirin lashed out, “I can’t do it! It falls off!” 

But her mom would not let her off the hook.  “Take a breath.  Don’t give up.” The fork was replaced in Shirin’s hand again and again until she managed to balance it.  So much effort just to get one little nibble in her mouth!  It went faster and was more enjoyable to use her hands.  Every single failed attempt tensed Shirin’s body until at last she was shaking her fists at her inability to keep anything on the top of that fork.  Frederick was done and off in the next room playing with HER little people, how fair was that?  Finally after what seemed like an eternity of fork scooping, cottage cheese dropping and grouchy grumbling the last bit of cottage cheese made it into her mouth.  “Good job honey!  I knew you could do it!”  Her mom said after the last bite.  Sliding off her chair, Shirin could sense a slight feeling of accomplishment, but still could not see anything “good” about the fork.  With a mad dash toward her toys, Shirin could not get away from the table fast enough!

“But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

Hebrews 5:14

A Christmas Play; A "must have"

Here is a "must have" at a Christmas gathering that could turn into a tradition... Have the kids put on a simple play of the Christmas Story!  Last year (2009) I helped all the cousins put on this simple play.  Ages 2 to 12.  I wrote it up and e-mailed out the parts two weeks before.  It was everyone's favorite part of the evening!

Christmas Story Script:

No costumes – simple “hats” will be provided- No pressure for perfection or complete memorization.  We will go over it here too.  

The Cast:

Narrator – Cherish (don’t have to memorize, just read it)

Angel - Kendall

Mary - Shirin

Joseph - Jordan

Inn keeper - Cassidy

Shepards – Cassidy(1) and Kendall(2)

Sheep – Frederick, Preston, Annabelle

Wise men/women – Frederick(1), Preston(2), Annabelle(3)

Baby Jesus – doll

Cow- Frederick

Horse – Preston

Donkey – Cassidy

Mouse – Kendall

Kids sit to side with their hats on and come up at their parts.  Annabelle will be helped by other kids.

Scene One

Narrator

Scene 1, “The Birth of Jesus Foretold!” 

So it went like this… in the 6^th month God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph.

Angel

Greetings!  You are majorly favored and will have a baby named Jesus!

Mary

WHAT???  I’m not married yet!

Angel

Perfect!  He will be called the Son of God!

Mary

Ok, if God says so.

Narrator

And when Mary told Joseph…

Mary

Yes?

Joseph

No!

Angel

(Taps Joseph on shoulder)

Yes!

Joseph

(To angel)

Yes?

Angel

Yes!

Joseph

(To Mary)

Yes!

Mary

Yes!

Scene 2

Narrator

Scene 2, “The Birth of Jesus.” 

Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem for the census.  And when they got there…

Inn Keeper

Hey there, you are pretty pregnant there!

Joseph

Do you have any room for us?

Inn Keeper

Sorry dude, we’re all full. 

Joseph and Mary

Oh no!

Inn Keeper

But if you don’t mind the smell I do have a place out back.

Narrator

(Handing Jesus to Mary)

So Jesus was born in a Stable

Cow

(Holding cow sign)

Mooooo

Horse

(Holding horse sign)

Neeeehhh

Sheep (Annabelle)

(Holding sheep sign)

Baaaaaa

Donkey

(Holding Donkey sign)

HEE-HAA

Mouse

(Holding mouse sign)

Squeak

Scene 3

Narrator

Scene 3, “The Sheppards”

There were shepherds living out in the fields nearby keeping watch over their flocks at night…

Shepherd 1

And they are looking good!

Sheeps

Baaaaaaaa

Narrator:

When an angel of the Lord appeared to them telling them all about Jesus and where to find him.

(Shepherds look up in the sky)

Shepherds and sheep

(Gasp!)

Narrator

And a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angle, praising God. 

(Get adults/audience to sing "Hark the Harold") 

Shepherds and sheep

(Bigger gasp)

Narrator

And then they left.

Shepherd 2

Well what are we waiting for, let’s go see what happened!

Narrator

The Shepherds did find Mary, Joseph and Jesus.  And spread the word of what had happened to them.

Scene 4

Narrator

Scene 4, “The Wise Men”

Three wise men were following a star that God placed in the sky and it led them to Jesus.  (Looking at the wise man) Umm, well two men and one wise wo-man.  They came with gifts fit for a King!

Wise man 1

(Placing his gift at Mary and Joseph’s feet)

Here you go Jesus

Wise man 2

(Placing his gift at Mary and Joseph’s feet)

Here you go Jesus

Wise woman 3

(Placing her gift at Mary and Joseph’s feet)

Here you go Jesus

(Everyone stands around the baby Jesus: Shepherds, Wise men, Mary, Joseph)

Narrator

And that is how it all began.  How God came into this world, not to rule as an earthly king but to rule in our hearts setting us free from the bondage of sin and death!  He came to be our Savior!

Everyone

The End

(Bow)

Thanksgiving Cream of Corn, YUCK!

“Man does not live on bread alone…”

MISSY:

“Time for Dinner” Missy’s mom called down the hall.  Four kids scrambled about to wash their hands and run to the kitchen.  Missy’s dad was already at the table as her mom stood at the counter getting the food on the kid’s plates.  Missy walked up to the table to sit on the chair at the very end.  Just before she could sit her sister Sherry, the oldest of the clan, grabbed her shoulder.  “No Missy, I’m sitting here!  You sit over there because it really is the perfect chair for you.  See its right next to Ralphy and you really love him so it is perfect for you.  I sit here in the 7 year old chair and Candy can sit right next to me!”  Missy did not completely understand the logic, but her sister was very persuasive and it sounded like she knew exactly what she was talking about so Missy sat in the chair next to her brother Ralphy who took his fork and spoon in both hands and started playing them like drums on his plate.  Seeing that her dad did not object to the sound, she joined in pounding her plate.  Of course Candy started in as soon as she was up on her knees and Sherry started dictating how all the parts should sound together. 

“Alright kids, it’s time to eat.”  Missy’s dad finally said with a smile. 

Sherry got her food first, “Oh yes, Cream of Corn!” Missy felt her stomach grumble and was so excited, she loved corn.  Missy’s plate was next.  Where was it?  All she saw was their Thanksgiving meal leftovers… turkey meat, mashed potatoes, corn bread and that yellow runny stuff she so skillfully avoided this past Thursday.  After the prayer Missy seemed to question the yellow configuration, it might be the corn.  After avoiding it as long as possible and enjoying the rest of her food, she blankly starred at it.  “Eat your cream of corn Missy.”  Her mom said. Oh good, it was corn.  She leaned down and smelled the plate and jerked her head back with a frown.

“She does not like it mom.” Sherry reminded everyone.  “Remember when she wouldn’t eat it before?”

“Sherry!” Her mom said with a hush motion.

Oh yea, Missy thought, this tastes like barf!  Even smelling it brought the horrifying memory back of her first bite of this slobbery slime when she was probably only Candy’s age.  One little nibble and she had hated it!  At the time she watched her younger brother, then only a baby, refuse to eat his food. Realizing for the first time that she actually had a choice in the matter, Missy decided that this horrible tasting goo was not going near her lips again.  She remembered her mom getting more frustrated at each refusal to eat it.  “Missy!” Her mom had finally said, knowing how much Missy hated being dirty, “If you don’t take a bite right now I’m going to rub that in your face!”  Missy remembered her mom making the threat. She remembered tearfully objecting. She also remembered the feeling of that horrible smelling runny yellow gung being rubbed all over her face.  The worst stink and the most awful feeling in the world, just like death!   Of course now she was older, 5 years old to be exact, maybe it’s not as bad as she remembers.  Candy, her 2 year old sister was gobbling it up with no problem.  Missy took the smallest bit on the edge of her spoon.  She stared at the substance for several moments.  She looked around and noticed that even Ralphy, the most picky eater after Sherry, was finishing up and being excused from the table. 

It’s not like its manna, she thought, that horrible stuff that her grandma told her the Isolates had to eat in the dessert for like 400 years!  That stuff had no taste but those people were thankful because it kept them alive.  So she just told herself that it’s corn, no big deal!  Watching the rest of the kids get done, one by one, Missy mustered up the courage she needed.  Quickly, she took in the bite and quickly, spit it out. Worse than she remembered!  Gagging and coughing until it was all out she thought, how disgusting!

“Don’t spit out your food Missy!” Her mom quickly said.  “You have to eat at least one bite.”  NO! Fearing the nightmare of this yucky guckyness on any part of her skin, she finished her repulsing bite avoiding another cream of corn face plant.  The taste tweaked her face and ruined everything else she had eaten.  “Missy, you are a good eater.  Don’t pretend you don’t like this.  It’s just your imagination.”

But Missy knew she hated cream of corn.  She would rather eat a whole plate of that no-tasting manna then one bite of this!  How could she explain to her mom that there really were exceptions to her willing palate?  “Mom, ah-eed awter!”  Her mom gave her some water.  There didn’t seem to be enough water to wash it away.

The cream of corn aroma made her choke again, reminding her of the dreadful experience of having that devil dish on her toddler face.  Thinking about it brought up a gag reflex and placed a shiver down her spine.  Hearing her sisters and brother starting up another music band with their tooth brushes and the toothpaste tube, Missy hurried to the bathroom thanking God that was over with.  She never before looked so forward to brushing her teeth free from dinner.

~~~~~~

“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 8:3

The Thanksgiving Game Show

We are here at the Thanksgiving Game Show where giving thanks breads JOY!

(Audience applause)

Today we have 4 contestants who are playing for the grand prize.  Who will leave here OVERjoyed?

(Cue music)

Let’s meet our contestants:

Contestant #1 is a restaurant manager.  He lives with his wife and daughter in a bungalow in Marina Del Rey, California.  Say hello to Bobby!

(Audience applause)

Contestant #2 is a housewife. Formally in real estate she spends her time picking up and dropping off kids as well as keeping up with house management.  Say hello to Mary!

(Audience applause)

Contestant #3 owns his own business.  He has a condo by the beach but spends most of his time at his 3 story home near the city.  He spends much of his free time on his boat.  Say hello to Tom!

(Audience applause)

Contestant # 4 has three kids in Jr. High School, her ailing mother-in-law lives in their home and she just found out that her husband got laid off.  Say hello to Jennifer!

(Audience applause)

Here at the Thanksgiving Game Show we know that the biggest Joy stealer is what?

(Everyone) DISCONTENTMENT!

Contestant #1, what does it feel like to live in Marina Del Rey?

Bobby: Well it sounds nice but we live in a bungalow not far from busy streets.  I know that I could be a very joyful person if we lived up on the hill away from the busy streets.  Or if we moved away from busy California all together, like to the country side.  The restaurant I work for has chains all over the United States; I could be transferred to any of them!

Well it sounds like a case of

(Everyone) DISCONTENTMENT!

Bobby, you have a bad case of, “The grass is always greener” syndrome.  Said another way, discontentment in where you are in life.  Contentment is not found “out there” Contentment is found “inside”.  People like you are always looking somewhere else for a joyful life when it is waiting for them right in there own homes and in their own neighborhoods.  If you lived up on that hill then you would see another location that you would perceive as better again missing the mark for a Joy filled life.  Bobby, how can you be grateful for where you are right here and right now?

(Audience applause)

Contestant #2, how is it being in house management?

Mary:  Well the only house I manage is my own.  I use to be helping others achieve their dreams in real estate.  Oh the things I could be doing if I wasn’t cooped up in the home looking after everyone and everything here.  Oh the places I could go if I was not running everyone around to school, activities and doctor visits!  I could be joyful if I was in real estate again.

Well it sounds like a case of

(Everyone) DISCONTENTMENT!

Mary, you have an identity crisis on your hands.  You are discontent in what you do.  You are a wife and a mom.  You are really good at it and yet you think that a certain title and job description will give you a satisfied life, a joy you so desperately need.  People like you miss the mark because they do not value where they are and what they are doing, thinking that in some way it is inferior to what they could be doing “out there”.  Living a satisfied life does not need a real estate title attached to it.  Mary, how can you be grateful for the esteemed titles you are living out right here and right now?

(Audience applause)

Contestant #3, what’s it like to have so much that can make you happy?

Tom: I’m not happy at all.  If I just had the bigger and better stuff then I could really be happy.  It would be easier to get to my appointments if I had my own driver and jet.  Now that would bring Joy.

Well it sounds like a case of

(Everyone) DISCONTENTMENT!

Tom, you will never live a joy filled life as long as you are discontent in what you have.  People have more and less, having is not wrong.  It’s when the having has got you wanting more and more.  People like you miss the mark because they are never satisfied with what they have.  They spend their whole life upgrading and feeling miserable with any step “back”.  Joy is never found in the things you own, if you place it there you will be miserably dissatisfied until you die.  Tom, how can you be grateful for what you have right now?  How little can you be satisfied with?

(Audience applause)

Contestant #4, how is it living with people who love you?

Jennifer:  My kids are teenagers who constantly test the limit, if they were just more like the kids down the street.  And my mother-in-law is always making suggestion on how to keep up with the house, if she could just be more like my mom.  My husband just lost his job last week and he is moving in slow motion, if only he was more motivated like my sister’s husband.

Well it sounds like a case of

(Everyone) DISCONTENTMENT!

Jennifer, you are discontent with who you are with.  “If only they were different.”  People like you have strained relationships because they think that their Joy comes from who they are around.  They allow other’s faults and imperfections determine how satisfied they are.  They spend time trying to change others; wishing that they were like someone else or even worse wishing they were someone else.  Jennifer, the people around you are not at fault for your life attitude.  Change starts with you.  How can you expect to have a better husband if you are not willing to be a better wife?  How can you be grateful for the people in your life today?

(Audience applause, commercial break in 20 sec)

When we come back we will talk about how our contestants can, in their day to day lives, be joyful always.  (1 Thessalonians 5:16)  Give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12)  Be glad and rejoice before God. (Psalm 68:3)  Receive with thanksgiving (1 Timothy 4:4) Sing joyfully to the Lord because it is fitting for the upright to praise him. (Psalm 33:1)  Have a happy heart that makes faces cheerful and not bring on heartache which crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13)  How they can really allow the Joy of the Lord, His Joy and delight in them, His walking with them, his comfort, his support, his encouragement, his compassion, his Word be their strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) To stop complaining and grumbling (James 5:9) and to be anxious about nothing but in EVERYTHING be THANKFUL bringing their concerns to God and trusting Him with the results (Philippians 4:6) because giving thanks breads Joy!  Who will allow their life attitude to take a shift?  Who will turn off the voice of discontentment and turn on the Voice of gratitude?  Who wants the grand prize of an OVERjoyed life?  All of that, when we return to the Thanksgiving Game Show!

One Morning and Many Personalities

I was at a convention a few years back and watched a skillful presentation of the many "hats" a women wears.  After a nice introduction of each hat personality, these hats started to be reused and switched up until at last they were being stacked on top of each other in a frenzied effort to maintain each personality's integrity.  After searching the web I found that it had been borrowed before.  Knowing that the best ideas are usually stolen... or I mean... BORROWED, I took the liberty to borrow the concept and modify the personalities  for the start of my blog about examining lives.  But before any of that what better way to get started than to examine the many personalities that seem to appear out of nowhere in our day to day lives.  And sometimes in a matter of just minutes!  Because you know it's true that there are, at the very least, 3 different personalities fighting to stay alive in every women.  For example there is "Molly the Mom." She wears a silly monkey hat and sings everything to the tune of "rise and shine".
MOLLY: (silly monkey hat)  I-I read bo-oks, and bake lots of homemade cookies.  I hu-ug the ki-ids and drive away the spooky spookies!
And what about "Wendy the Worker" who wears a hard hat and has a "get down to business" persona.
WENDY: (hard hat) I am sick and tired of this job, all I do is work, work, work and no one ever appreciates me!
And lest we forget "Linda the Love Slave" who shows up with a sexy shall that sharply resembles a poorly homemade scarf and likes to add lots of tigerish growls to her intensely seductive tone.
LINDA: (scarf) I lounge around in my lingerie and lavish love words on my husband like, 'Lover, did you lock the door!  Groowwwllll!'
I don't think men really know how hard it can be for one little lady forced into this daily juggling act.  I mean really, I want my husband to know that I would make a killer Love Slave if I didn't have to be 2 other women at the same time.  I'd just wake up and say...
LINDA: (scarf) Good morning sweetheart, did you sleep well?  Let's just stay in bed a while and...
But then a baby cries or a child's footsteps are heard coming down the hall and the scarf is quickly replaced by a silly monkey hat.
MOLLY: (monkey hat) Ri-ise and shi-ine and give God the glory, glory.  Bru-ush your te-eth and I'll read you a story, story.
Which is then dramatically replaced by a hard hat.
WENDY: (hard hat) Pause that thought, I'll have to read that story later! I still need to pack your lunch, the diaper bag, clean up the dog's throw up and Aunt Maria will be here in 10 minutes for me to bring her to her Doctor's appointment.
And just like that I walk away with a "frustrated" husband and a confused child.  But do you really think the juggling stops there?  Oh me, oh my NO! One look at my son's wet crotch brings out "Courtney the Quarterback" who continuously has easy access to a Nerf football that seems to appear out of mid air.  She makes sure all the house plays are run and executed properly so a wet crotch on this field means it's time for "The Bathroom Run"
COURTNEY: (football) 1, 2, 3, Hut! Run down the hall and around the corner, into the bathroom.  Make sure your pants are all the way down.  Toilet seat up, aim for the center.. oh too far right.. little to the left and yea that's right, First Down!
And we all know that if there was a poopy that had to come out of that little guy then that calls for "Nancy the Nurse" who wears a stethoscope around her neck.  Her charts are extensive, imperative and she barely misses a thing.  No need for an actual real life nursing degree to care for the kids, husband, Aunt Maria, Grandma Gwen and the little old man who lives across the street.  She mends and documents all cuts, bruises, aches, pains, Dr. Visits, everything that goes in and everything that... comes out.
NANCY: (stethoscope) Two days ago his poopy was green and runny.  Yesterday he ate two banana, had rice for lunch and dinner and now it's as hard as a Uncle B's head.  Oatmeal for breakfast and it should be smoooooth sailing tomorrow.
After helping my son "wipe", I take note of the two squares of toilet paper left on the roll and "Arlene the Accountant" is on top of it!  Wearing a tie she calculates.
ARLENE: (tie) If I get toilet paper and not the nail polish I'm still under $5 and don't have to withdraw from the ATM next to the drug store for a $2 charge.  You see I take care of the cash flow including tithe, lunch money, writing checks and I record the ATM's he doesn't.
Next "Suzanne the Psychologist" cant help but give her 2 cents, putting her reading glasses on the very tip of her nose and looking at me in the mirror...
SUZANNE: (glasses) Now why do you think he does not record his ATM's?  What was his relationship like with his mother?
Knowing that sort of questioning will lead me to nowhere good I quickly return my thoughts to the lack of bottom wiping material presently in our home, which inevitably reminds me of yet another errands, yet another "stop" that my soccer mom van has to make in between the kids piano lessons and karate... that is if I can't fit it in this morning. Fighting against the taxi mom image, I can muster up, "Charlotte the Chauffeur" with a snooty and quite annoying attitude of disgust wearing a chauffeur hat.
CHARLOTTE: (chauffeur hat) I drove 4,000 miles last week and permanently small like french fries!
As I walk to the kitchen to get out the oatmeal the chauffeur hat is quickly replaced by a chef hat and out of nowhere I start to talk with a really bad German accent!  "Helga the Housekeeper!"
HELGA: (chef hat) French fries!  French fries!  No wonder they wont eat my cooking, they are always eating French Fries!
By now there is some sort of bickering going on upstairs.  I'm not sure if it is the sound of my kid's voices or the voices in my head that makes "Priscilla the Princess" emerge wearing a cute crown that comes straight from my daughter's dress up princess costumes.  As I pause in front of the sink, it's almost as if I am on stage at a pageant.  Standing before the judges who have just asked a question about what my vision would be for this morning as the kids get off to school.  I place one hand on the microphone and one hand over my heart.  With the the most inspirational tone, I speak.
PRISCILLA: (princess crown) I wish for household peace.  And... to lock myself in the bathroom, take a bubble bath and do my nails!
As reality swiftly sweeps back because my microphone is spraying water on my shirt, "Sarah the Server" puts on her apron and boldly states her priorities!
SARAH: (apron) I give all my TIME to serving others.  You can't name a church committee that I haven't been on.  I've helped 10 people move, built 15 houses in Mexico, fed over 1000 homeless and delivered 4 meals... all last week.  I have a hard time saying, 'no.'
And right on cue my daughter takes advantage of that by asking for some ice cream.
MOLLY: (silly monkey hat) Ye-es you ca-an, later gater after dinner!
And at the very mention of dinner my husband has to ask what we might be having that night.
LINDA: (scarf) Oh I don't know, grrroowwwll, I could peel some grapes and rub your feet.
Without time to take off the scarf the chef hat appears...
HELGA: (chef hat- German accent) Hold on, Dinner?  You want dinner again?  I just cooked dinner last night.  No!  And put on your shoes!
WENDY: (hard hat) I can't think about dinner now!  I still have to change the baby's diaper, finish packing the kids lunches and Aunt Maria will be here any minute!
With a glance at the clock I realize that there is no time to switch up the hats, just keep adding...
NANCY: (add stethoscope) I'm bringing her to her doctor's appointment today.
SARAH: (add apron) And because she's my aunt I can't say no!
MOLLY: (add monkey hat) Kids!  Time to get in the cary-cary!
CHARLOTTE: (add chauffeur hat) I'll get the car.
WENDY: (touch hard hat) Let's go! we're late!
HELGA: (add chef hat-German accent) I'll get the lunches, without french fries!
LINDA: (swoop the scarf) And without grapes, those are for later! ummm, growl.
ARLENE: (tie) Thank God those grapes were on sale at the market yesterday!
SUZANNE: (glasses) Did his mother feed him grapes?
Covered from head to waist with hats, scarfs, glasses and ties I sense it's time for a very important "play" in the house.  "The Transport Play"  I can't really get a good grip on the football due to the memorabilia all over my body, but I do have a SF 49ers helmet that by husband purchased and just happens to fit my head!  So with a loose grip on the ball, hoping not to fumble, I throw on the helmet and pray I don't get hurt... because I might just have to run this play on my own!
CORTNEY: (football and helmet) 1, 2, 3 Hut! Kid's go long for your lunches... oh no, your covered!!!  Ok I'll do it, and I'll grab the baby, the diaper bag, Aunt Maria and everyone is in the car!  (hands on steering wheal)  And we're driving down the field at the 50, and the 40... kids drop off!
MOLLY: (monkey hat) Have a good day-ee day-ee!
CORTNEY: (helmet) At the 30 and 20... Aunt Maria Drop off.
NANCY: (stethoscope-yelling out window) Don't forget to tell them about your lab results!
CORTNEY: (helmet) And the 10... drug store for TP!  And at the 5... back home, sleeping baby in crib, lock myself in the bathroom and... TOUCH DOWN!!!!
PRISCILLA: (crown) oh pickles, I chipped a nail!

And that is one morning with many womanly personalities examined!
Sort of.